Colons

I am not sure what to write about tonight...but I have to start off by saying if you haven't read my cousin Becky's blog (link is on my page) you must. Little Jimmy Chickens is something else.

Well, on to me. Let me just say that Ex-Lax is the devil. The devil I say. I have been "bound up" (as my Granny Brown would say) for a few days...the only time a promising intestinal pain would hit was very inopportune, as there was nowhere to go in private....so despite Amy's protests...I allowed Casey to give me 2 Ex-Lax pills. The fact that he smiled at me as he gave them to me should have been a clue that something was amiss. When you are in pain and look like you could possibly be pregnant, you tend to ignore subtle warnings.

I awoke to much hope, but nothing came of it. So, of course at 9:30am (right when I go down to open the Coop) and tremendous pain hits...I mean TREMENDOUS! Followed by a brief period of nausea. I run to the bathroom in fear and expectation.....and frankly I had made much ado about 'almost' nothing...so...I'm thinking, "well, this stuff apparently doesn't work for me"...

Oh, my children I was wrong....so very wrong.... Now..if you look on the back of an Ex-Lax box you will see directions, warnings, dosages and such....NO WHERE on this box does it list the horrendous side effects of it's product. Which include....profuse sweating each time a stomach cramp hits, bad timing of said cramps..such as ONLY when a customer walks up to the counter, an automatic rocking motion with arms akimbo across your stomach, a "smile-like grimace" permanently attached to your face (with beads of sweat across your eye-lids), and an ungainly walk/run as you try to make it to the bathroom without drawing attention to yourself.

In the end, (yes I did mean to make a pun), the product actually works...but (yet another pun), was it worth it?

At the risk of sounding even more like Granny Brown than I already do, I would say yes...there are few things worse than bowel problems...in fact...I think there should be a charity walk organized for constipation. People are so afraid to discuss it....I say WHY NOT? If my Granny can give a bowel update to any random person in line at the grocery store, then why can't I? I feel as if I have done my part to start the dialogue between friends and colons...isn't that how the world is suppose to be?