We pulled into mom and dad's driveway, where I promptly jump out to warn them of the icy conditions. (Casey sits in the truck and wolfes down a PB & J sandwich) I carefully trot up to the porch, yelling to "stand still, there is ice!" Dad relays this to mom (who is standing right beside of him) and she in turn relays it to me just in case I wasn't aware of the danger. Mom and dad both have armloads of blankets, pillows and a travel mug of coffee. We spend the next 2 minutes passing off the items to each other in an attempt to have one person with open arms to catch the other two when they inevitably fall. Somehow we end up with mom and me (yes, it is suppose to be "me" and not "I" in this case) holding the blankets and such while dad has his coffee. We make our way to the truck, still reminding each other of the dangers of the frozen water. Casey is chewing his sandwich and watching from the truck interior. Now it is time for me to start hollering about the frozen running boards, which causes mom to start hollering this to dad, who gives us a look like "I'm not stupid" and we all gather into the truck. (Which thanks to me is toasty warm) And we're off!!
Thank goodness for the digital temperature read out on the dash of the truck. This keeps us entertained for the entire trip...it is 35degrees as we pull onto the AA...no wait! Now it is 34degrees, we discuss how the idling truck may affect the temp., etc. etc...Mom and I spout out helpful tips to Casey about bridges freezing before roadways and if he watches the cars in front of him he may be informed of ice before HE gets to it. I'm certain he was very appreciative of these warnings as it is always helpful for the passengers to play an active role in the driving.
We make our way down Rt.23 and stop at our usual McDonalds...I'm not going to say why this particular McDonald's is memorable...but it is because of Mom's past actions...in the bathroom...involving her interest in whether or not a particular stall was empty. It wasn't. We grab our breakfast which entails 2 hashbrowns for me, cinammon bites for mom (plus an orange juice that she admits she will regret later) and Dad's usual hot chocolate... (Casey ate something but for the life of me I can't remember) we're back on the road. Drinks are offered and shared...namely by mom and dad. Casey and I don't usually share much food and/or drink. My parents eat like birds and are always thrilled with Casey's ability to eat so much. Mom thoughtfully leaves a couple of bites of her cinnamom bites to offer to Casey. He says at that moment he doesn't want them, so they are put away for later. I decline the offer of hot chocolate and decide that I am now exhausted and must sleep. I keep mom busy with my Kindle (hahahaa just kidding mom) and went to sleep. I was half awaken at some point later to hear Casey ask, "Is Shelley asleep?" and Mom answering "Yes" eveyone laughing and Casey saying "Good"...wasn't sure what was going on at the time but I went back to sleep. I found out later that they had come upon a particular part of the road that was completely covered in ice, and decided that it would be better if they left me to sleep. I'm a little put out by this because I am pretty darn good in a crisis. Yes I am. Shut up. ANYWAY, when I woke up, I was (as usual after a nap) Starving. And wanting something sweet. I enquire about the cinnamon bites. A short silence, then Casey admits that he had eaten them. Great. I ask hopefully about the hot chocolate...another spot of silence, then mom mumbles that she drank it. Then they all start laughing. Apparently no one can take a nap around these people without being put in dangerous situations while they eat all edible objects, leaving one hungry and irritable when one awakens. Something to remember.
We have made it to Columbus. After a short lived, one sided argument with the guy working in the parking lot (we decided later that he was right and were glad that we didn't actually say anything to him) we made our way through the dirty, slushy parking lot into the building. Now we have to be scanned with these little cards we have around our necks. Mom has spent the last 10 minutes telling us all over and over to make sure we have the card turned to the correct side....she knows the security lady at this show takes her job very seriously. We walk thorugh the front doors, the security nazi (oh I mean lady) meets us with her little scanner...(I think she likes to pretend that it is a stun gun) she goes to scan mom's card but stops and tells mom that it is turned to the wrong card. hahHAHAHAHA!!! Mom was the only one with her card on backwards...makes me so very happy which is why I included it in this story. (Drink the last of the hot chocolate, will you?)
Well, we spend the nextd 5 1/2 hours in and out of this building...Casey more so than us because he is doing most of the carrying out to the U-Haul. He had another unpleasant experience with Security Lady and was not a happy camper by the time the day was over. My last trip to the U-Haul I decided to let Casey help mom with the last load while I sit in the truck with dad. This is always enjoyable because we can make up a story to go with each and every person that walks or drives past us. We spend a little while doing this, I feel some shaking going on behind me near the U-Haul area...I assume that Case and mom are back....after a few more minutes they never come to the truck. I ask dad if he had felt the truck moving, he doesn't recall, but agrees that maybe I should check that no one was cleaning out the things we just bought while he and I were sitting right in the truck. That would have been embarrassing. Dad said that our excuse could have been that it was too cold to get out and check. Everything was fine, not sure why the U-Haul had been shaking around, but we hadn't been robbed.
So we leave to come home. Everyone is exhausted and hungry. Mom starts hinting around about stopping somewhere to eat, some place that she could get some good iced tea. (She means Ponderosa in Circleville) Instead it is decided that we will get something through a drive thru so we can get home quicker. Which brings us to the story that is told on every trip to Columbus. The story of mom getting a hamburger at a Dairy Queen on Rt.23 and how the pickle was STEAMING on the hamburger. She was so hungry. She was so looking forward to this hamburger. It was a terrible snowstorm so they went through the drivethru. She didn't discover the steaming pickle until they had pulled back onto the road, or she would have made dad turn around and take it back. She is still mind-boggled and angry that they re-heated the whole hamburger in the microwave! She still tells the story with the same vehemence that she did the day it actually happened...about 4 or 5 years ago. Dad and Casey always take turns on the trips to Columbus to ask mom if she wants to stop at Dairy Queen, then we get to hear the story in full while Dad and Casey laugh hysterically. This subject is brought up at least 5 different times on every trip. I'm not joking.
Anyway, we decide to stop at Wendy's. Because of the U-Haul Casey drives through to the back parking lot....then decides it will be funny to make the truck and trailer spin on the ice. It's not funny. (Every since Leigh Anna and I tried to do doughnuts on the snow in Farmer's parking lot in highschool AND almost hit a light pole, I do not enjoy sliding on ice) Casey does this just to hear me scream and because he and Dad laugh like they are 17. Idiots. I don't just scream nonsense, I like to scream out the obvious. Or what I think is the obvious thing to happen in this situation,which is to scream that the U-Haul is going to tip over. To which Dad and Casey start laughing loudly and Dad says something like "I can't believe you just said that" even mom chimes in on how silly it was of me to think that a U-Haul could tip over by sliding on ice. I'm still sticking with the probability being high. We finally park, really far away from the door. As we go to get out, we hear a huge bang, we whipped our heads around to see Casey falling (for the second time) onto the ground. Apparently the whole parking lot was an ice rink. Dad almost fell. We ask Case if he is ok, then I start begging that we go to McDonalds across the road, because I assume that their parking lot will be cleared off. As I am making my plea, I look up and Dad is gone. Dear Lord (I think) he has fallen! I start hollering "Where's Dad?!" Then I look and he is shuffling across the icy parking lot (Looking just like Tim Conway on The Carol Burnett Show when he played the old guy) Well great. I guess he has decided that we aren't going to McDonalds. The rest of us get out and start shuffling our way across the lot, the whole time I am saying "I'm scared" over and over. Everyone seems put out with me. Somehow I shuffle past mom and make it to the side walk. Casey is beside me, Dad ahead. Mom gripes that everyone is leaving her behind and I inform her that I cannot come back and help her, as I don't do that. I am almost to safety and I'm very scared, sooo.....(I leave that word hanging) Meanwhile Casey has went back to help her so he gets the good citizenship award....but I don't care because I have made it safely inside and am starving. We get our food, get back on the road, mom saves part of her sandwich for Casey ; who then feels obligated to eat it even though he is full. Finally make it home, empty the U-Haul , realize that I forgot to have Casey pack some things that we bought, which means we left about $300 worth of merchandise in Columbus. (I'm mortified about this one) I go to house and make stewed potatoes and chocolate chip cookies (doesn't make sense to me either) and praise God that we made it home in one piece. Another trip to Columbus is over!
We make our way down Rt.23 and stop at our usual McDonalds...I'm not going to say why this particular McDonald's is memorable...but it is because of Mom's past actions...in the bathroom...involving her interest in whether or not a particular stall was empty. It wasn't. We grab our breakfast which entails 2 hashbrowns for me, cinammon bites for mom (plus an orange juice that she admits she will regret later) and Dad's usual hot chocolate... (Casey ate something but for the life of me I can't remember) we're back on the road. Drinks are offered and shared...namely by mom and dad. Casey and I don't usually share much food and/or drink. My parents eat like birds and are always thrilled with Casey's ability to eat so much. Mom thoughtfully leaves a couple of bites of her cinnamom bites to offer to Casey. He says at that moment he doesn't want them, so they are put away for later. I decline the offer of hot chocolate and decide that I am now exhausted and must sleep. I keep mom busy with my Kindle (hahahaa just kidding mom) and went to sleep. I was half awaken at some point later to hear Casey ask, "Is Shelley asleep?" and Mom answering "Yes" eveyone laughing and Casey saying "Good"...wasn't sure what was going on at the time but I went back to sleep. I found out later that they had come upon a particular part of the road that was completely covered in ice, and decided that it would be better if they left me to sleep. I'm a little put out by this because I am pretty darn good in a crisis. Yes I am. Shut up. ANYWAY, when I woke up, I was (as usual after a nap) Starving. And wanting something sweet. I enquire about the cinnamon bites. A short silence, then Casey admits that he had eaten them. Great. I ask hopefully about the hot chocolate...another spot of silence, then mom mumbles that she drank it. Then they all start laughing. Apparently no one can take a nap around these people without being put in dangerous situations while they eat all edible objects, leaving one hungry and irritable when one awakens. Something to remember.
We have made it to Columbus. After a short lived, one sided argument with the guy working in the parking lot (we decided later that he was right and were glad that we didn't actually say anything to him) we made our way through the dirty, slushy parking lot into the building. Now we have to be scanned with these little cards we have around our necks. Mom has spent the last 10 minutes telling us all over and over to make sure we have the card turned to the correct side....she knows the security lady at this show takes her job very seriously. We walk thorugh the front doors, the security nazi (oh I mean lady) meets us with her little scanner...(I think she likes to pretend that it is a stun gun) she goes to scan mom's card but stops and tells mom that it is turned to the wrong card. hahHAHAHAHA!!! Mom was the only one with her card on backwards...makes me so very happy which is why I included it in this story. (Drink the last of the hot chocolate, will you?)
Well, we spend the nextd 5 1/2 hours in and out of this building...Casey more so than us because he is doing most of the carrying out to the U-Haul. He had another unpleasant experience with Security Lady and was not a happy camper by the time the day was over. My last trip to the U-Haul I decided to let Casey help mom with the last load while I sit in the truck with dad. This is always enjoyable because we can make up a story to go with each and every person that walks or drives past us. We spend a little while doing this, I feel some shaking going on behind me near the U-Haul area...I assume that Case and mom are back....after a few more minutes they never come to the truck. I ask dad if he had felt the truck moving, he doesn't recall, but agrees that maybe I should check that no one was cleaning out the things we just bought while he and I were sitting right in the truck. That would have been embarrassing. Dad said that our excuse could have been that it was too cold to get out and check. Everything was fine, not sure why the U-Haul had been shaking around, but we hadn't been robbed.
So we leave to come home. Everyone is exhausted and hungry. Mom starts hinting around about stopping somewhere to eat, some place that she could get some good iced tea. (She means Ponderosa in Circleville) Instead it is decided that we will get something through a drive thru so we can get home quicker. Which brings us to the story that is told on every trip to Columbus. The story of mom getting a hamburger at a Dairy Queen on Rt.23 and how the pickle was STEAMING on the hamburger. She was so hungry. She was so looking forward to this hamburger. It was a terrible snowstorm so they went through the drivethru. She didn't discover the steaming pickle until they had pulled back onto the road, or she would have made dad turn around and take it back. She is still mind-boggled and angry that they re-heated the whole hamburger in the microwave! She still tells the story with the same vehemence that she did the day it actually happened...about 4 or 5 years ago. Dad and Casey always take turns on the trips to Columbus to ask mom if she wants to stop at Dairy Queen, then we get to hear the story in full while Dad and Casey laugh hysterically. This subject is brought up at least 5 different times on every trip. I'm not joking.
Anyway, we decide to stop at Wendy's. Because of the U-Haul Casey drives through to the back parking lot....then decides it will be funny to make the truck and trailer spin on the ice. It's not funny. (Every since Leigh Anna and I tried to do doughnuts on the snow in Farmer's parking lot in highschool AND almost hit a light pole, I do not enjoy sliding on ice) Casey does this just to hear me scream and because he and Dad laugh like they are 17. Idiots. I don't just scream nonsense, I like to scream out the obvious. Or what I think is the obvious thing to happen in this situation,which is to scream that the U-Haul is going to tip over. To which Dad and Casey start laughing loudly and Dad says something like "I can't believe you just said that" even mom chimes in on how silly it was of me to think that a U-Haul could tip over by sliding on ice. I'm still sticking with the probability being high. We finally park, really far away from the door. As we go to get out, we hear a huge bang, we whipped our heads around to see Casey falling (for the second time) onto the ground. Apparently the whole parking lot was an ice rink. Dad almost fell. We ask Case if he is ok, then I start begging that we go to McDonalds across the road, because I assume that their parking lot will be cleared off. As I am making my plea, I look up and Dad is gone. Dear Lord (I think) he has fallen! I start hollering "Where's Dad?!" Then I look and he is shuffling across the icy parking lot (Looking just like Tim Conway on The Carol Burnett Show when he played the old guy) Well great. I guess he has decided that we aren't going to McDonalds. The rest of us get out and start shuffling our way across the lot, the whole time I am saying "I'm scared" over and over. Everyone seems put out with me. Somehow I shuffle past mom and make it to the side walk. Casey is beside me, Dad ahead. Mom gripes that everyone is leaving her behind and I inform her that I cannot come back and help her, as I don't do that. I am almost to safety and I'm very scared, sooo.....(I leave that word hanging) Meanwhile Casey has went back to help her so he gets the good citizenship award....but I don't care because I have made it safely inside and am starving. We get our food, get back on the road, mom saves part of her sandwich for Casey ; who then feels obligated to eat it even though he is full. Finally make it home, empty the U-Haul , realize that I forgot to have Casey pack some things that we bought, which means we left about $300 worth of merchandise in Columbus. (I'm mortified about this one) I go to house and make stewed potatoes and chocolate chip cookies (doesn't make sense to me either) and praise God that we made it home in one piece. Another trip to Columbus is over!
2 comments:
Kevin is going to pick up the rest of the merchandise this week, Shelley. All is well.
Dee Dee thank you so much! I cannot figure out how I completely forgot about that particular booth..the business name was Boops Coop...we even discussed how he knew us, blah blah blah...I'm trying to find a way to blame mom but it's not happening:(
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